so many days i've can't stop myself

from fighting this monster that eats me alive

so many time i've fought and i've tried

to live for a moment without fearing my mind

i hate this, yet live this, and it's bringing me down

i feel like I'm standing on uneven ground

the balance to life has been skewered so violent

I'm so sick of this death-instinct silence

so despondent and so somber so frail

so scared to begin for the fear i will fail

I'm alone in this pattern and i can't call for grace

I'm left in this mess that is such a disgrace

i fear for my mind more than i fear for life

the one thing worth saving is the love i deny

and i feel so hollow, but i yearn to relent

the control for some peace and freedom from this torment

there's no one to save me and i can't save myself

i'd give my whole being for some kind of help

but no one can stop this goddamn monster so great

all hope is now lost and it's too late

i numb to forget, to quiet the nose

so deafened by silence, i can't live with myself

i numb to forgive, for myself can't forget

that i could've been someone without any regret

you lying man who tells a tale of flawless love and peace of mind

of parting seas and curing blind

your lies my faith, there's no remorse

you spin your tale with brutal force

your lies, my faith, my breathing grace

i ran from life, i erased my faith

I am so blind

and seeing eyes are not so kind