Sam Hart - The Birds And The Beedrills

So I got this girl in the sex nid-arena
Getting ready to put my Poke-flue in between her.
First I take it slow bro, you know, play it Tentacool
When I Poliwag my Weedle oh how it makes her drool
I'm hard as a rock, and this girl seems hooked on onix
Cause she puts her Meowth on my Pidgey and takes it like a bong hit
Then she's starting to Machoke, which isn't very cool
I don't want to risk the Chance, see, of being Tentacruel
With the greatest swiftness, I slide off her Kabutop
And make her great paras come unleashed and drop
She's seaking to be drilled, while I'm hoping she's infertile
Playing with those jigglypuffs, trying veno-not to Squirtle
I Exegcute that foreplay, and now I'm ready to Cubone
Trying to finish quickly before her Mr. Mime gets home
But she stops before I can start the Manky Panky
And Says "Since I had to Staryu, you have to Starmie"
So since she did me, I guess I have to Ditto
I get down on my knees and pone-eat a Pidgetto
Give her a Slowpoke before I dive into that girl
And attack her cloyster with a full polywhirl
I Lickitung her Lapras, tasting on that Magicarp-et
Hoping she's not Krabby, that'd be gastly and would make my heart sick
Yes that Persian rug was clef-hairy, but I didn't really mind
Since I could ring the Victory bell, I was getting some behind
Down there for so long, I came up Koffing and Wheezing
I got her seel of approval though, cause she's Growlith-ing and breathing
Wanting to gravel her, feeling so sand-shrewd
Give her an electabuzz with my spear-oh too
I'd tell you her name, but don't think she's a whore, see?
Not to many get her rapidash, tonight she's just rhyhorn-y,
So I start Rhydon like the Machamp, feel like I could roar
Going so hard that I probably made her ivy sore
She wanted my Arbok so I gave her gear a dose
Going so hard that her Mew almost tauros
Inside that butterfree, feeling like a charmelon bucks
Constantly Jolteon her from the power of my Psyduck
Now I must have gone and jinxed it, somewhere in the equation
Cause she started getting drowzee during the copulation
I didn't even notice, I kept going at her Golbat
But then something seemed Oddish when I she started to snorelax
I tried to wake her up, zu-but she was pory-gone
And she'd have to be awake before I'd get my flare on.
Of course I felt gloom, I thought I had been charming' her
And now I can't Grime her voltorb or I'll be harming her
My Dewgong can't Muk, and if he does it'd be rude
But this is still better then the time I brought home a Geodude
With my pants down and my bell sprouted, I feel I got to doduo
So I Maro-walked into the bathroom, and when I leave, what do I view?
That my girl's awake again-gar, which seems kind of farfetched
And provoked some Poliwrath at the thought that she fake-slept
I asked her what was wrong, does she not like it when I pinsir?
And she responded with, "Calm down a second, Spencer.
If you think your sex is good, your wrong, if you think your hip, no,
The only thing you're good at is Nintendo."
I love this girl a magneton, and hearing that was wiggly tough.
The eevee-ning had started well, but now was turning rough
Told her "Wait a parasect, please stay the omanyte,
You're my goldeen girl, and if you leave I magne-might
E-raticate my life, cause you are my pharaoh!
It's to early in the night to give me the kabuto!"
And she says, "Way back when, when I first took a peek at you.
I thought you were kind of cute and that you'd want my mew too.
I felt electrodes in the air when I saw you and you saw me
But that was before I knew your Diglett was so Dragtini!"
I didn't know the size of my Dodrio mattered, and my god,
Here I thought we were like two Caterpies in a Metapod
I hope the memories of me haunt her, I hope she never leaves her shellder
"I hope you see dra light soon," I go and I tell her.
"I know you think your hot shit, but I'm actually exegg-cuter.
I'm the omastar, the Kingler, I can find another suitor.
I'm sorry about the time I gave you Wartortles and blisters
Or when I suggested a dugtrio with your sister.
But if you still want go, I won't beg like our canine.
Golduck with your life, I'm having a Blastoise with mine."
And that night, Misty left me, I felt so vileplume
I reckons that dragon night was the beginning of the doom
But I guess men are from Magmars women from Venusaur
And every thing tangelable, there's a reason for
I learned this the next week, when bad news filled the dragonair
My heart got machopped in half like a scyther giving it a tear
A phone call from her mother told me a kakuna in her head
Had attached to her vulpix, and now Misty was dead.
I thought it was a cle-fable that those things were hitmon-lethal
I had heard eight or ninetales about gol-them from different people
But I still couldn't believe it, I started weepin, belting out tears
Cuts and slashes vaporeonizing all of our years
It was like Riach-uno, Zap-dos, Mol-tres, and she's gone
And I can't abra kadabra with some magic wand
No alacazam and she reappears, I feel like a primeape
They could have caught the growth but the Kangascans came back to late
I pidgey-ought to have known better, but the news was quite charz-hard
My heart felt bulba-sore, was permanently scarred
She was my Nidoqueen, I should not have nido-ran
I wanted to be her Nidoking, but I felt more like a hitman-chan
If I hadn't nidoran, would she still be with us?
Or is my poke-love just to damn venomoth?
Insides numb like the artic, you know that feeling
A gun ratatta-ed my heart and I'm just waiting for the healing
But I don't regret getting hit with cupid's arrow-dact-all
Relationships are like pokemon, you gotta catch em' all.