Rachel Bloom - Jazz Fever

11pm, my typical day
Cab ride to a club to hear some sweet jazz music play
Pick out a musician, buy him a gin
Then I take him home for a delicious night of sin

Now I got a sore
Down in my drawers
I'm nauseous and I'm feeling kinda hot
Woo!
A sore throat that lingers
And rashes on my fingers
My mother once warned me of this illness I got

I got jazz fever
It's the fever that you get from too much jazz
Jazz fever
It's the fever that you get from too much jazz

I go to the doctor, say how bad I feel
He looks me up and down and says
Jazz fever isn't real, you have syphilis
Oh, guess they don't teach jazz in medical school
He tells me: Take this medicine
But I ain't a fool, instead I take

More ja-ya-ya-ya-yazz
The only cure for jazz fever is more jazz
(Charleston!)
Jazz fever
Buzz off, penicillin
Inject me with jazz

Now I gone deaf
(From the trumpets!)
I can't feel my feet
(From the dancing!)
I'm having seizures and my back skin looks like raw meat
(Can't explain that!)
The doctor keeps calling
But I've sealed my fate
'Cos jazz has an 80% mortality rate

Jazz fever
(Cough)
It's the fever that you get from too much jazz
(Charleston)
Jazz fever
It's the fever that you get from too much jazz