Rachel Bloom - I Steal Pets

Ohhhh
Yeaaaaah

School is really boring,
Can't wait for the bell to ring,
'Cause tonight I'm hanging with all of my friends!
Gonna party through the night-
Karaoke, pillow fights.
The music's loud, the lights are bright
It never ends
I have so many friends!

'Cause I steal pets from the popular people, and then dress the pets up like the popular people.
I steal pets from the popular people and hide them all in a shed.
Yeah! I steal pets from the popular people, and then dress the pets up like the popular people.
I steal pets from the popular people,
And lock them in my shed.

At school, life can be such a drag.
Whitney Jones called me a fag.
But her cat ate salmon out of my hand!
I smiled at Michael in the halls,
Then he spread rumors I have balls.
But I taught his dog to hug on command!
I have so many friends!
(Right, dog?!)

'Cause I steal pets from the popular people, and then dress the pets up like the popular people
I steal pets from the popular people and hide them all in a shed.
Yeah! I steal pets from the popular people, and then dress the pets up like the popular people.
I steal pets from the popular people,
And paint their nails red- take it Cuddles!

Bark bark bark bark bark, yeah!
Bark bark bark bark bark, yeah!
Bark bark bark bark bark, yeah!
Rawr!.

It's the seventh grade dance in the shed tonight,
And I'm the life of it all.
Cats and dogs all groovin' with me,
We're havin' such a ball.
I start slow dancing with Greg Mendelsson's terrier mix.
He's wearing a suit and he has Greg's eyes.
Suddenly
We kiss!

'Cause I steal pets from the popular people, and then dress the pets up like the popular people
I steal pets from the popular people and hide them all in a shed.
Yeah! I steal pets from the popular people, and then dress the pets up like the popular people.
I steal pets from the popular people,
My parents both are dead.
Boo!

I steal pets from the popular people.
(Pets aren't yours, pets are mine).
Then dress them up like the popular people.
(Pets aren't yours, pets are mine).
Yeah I steal pets from the popular people.
(Pets aren't yours, pets are mine).
And dress them up like the popular people.
All of them are mine!

I steal pets, I steal pets, lock them in my shed.
I steal peeeeeeeeeeetttttss
Lock them in my shed.