I Have a Secret Obsession
It's Totally Tupperware
My Own Science Project
Defying Wear and Tear
I'm Jealous of Shopping Carts
And All of Their Brand New Things
I Want to Fondle Their Labels
In Hopes One'll Rub Off On Me
'cause Everybody Wants to Feel Brand New
Like They Do
I Spend My Days Indoors
Doing Like Ding-dongs Do
Perfectly Preserving
Myself For You
I Take Things Out of Their Boxes
Take Out My Note Pad and Pen
Study Carefully
'cause Everybody Wants to Feel Brand New
Like They Do
So Tell Me You Want Me
Tell Me You Need Me
Tell Me I'll Always Be Desirable
Especially to You
Make Me Feel Brand New
Attractive!
Brand Spanking Clean
And Desirable As Homecoming Queen
But If I Were to Bet
All of the French Fries in the World
That You Would Say Such Things
I Would Surely Be One Very Hungry Girl
I Approach China Cautiously
If There's Cracks I Deny It
I Ingest Only Perfect Things
Into My Visual Diet
And At Night I Undress Myself
In Front of Your Favorite Things
Your Brand New Hand-tied Blue Bass Fishing Lure
And in the Corner Your Money Clip Sings
Everybody Wants to Feel Brand New
Everybody Wants to Feel Brand New
Like They Do
As They Do
I Do Too