[Pierre]
There’s a war going on out there somewhere
and Andrey isn’t here
There’s a war going on out there somewhere
and Andrey isn’t here

[All]
There’s a war going on out there somewhere
and Andrey isn’t here
There’s a war going on out there somewhere
and Andrey isn’t here

And this is all in your program you are at the opera
Gonna have to study up a little bit if you wanna keep with the plot
Cuz it’s a complicated Russian novel everyone’s got nine different names
So look it up in your program
We’d appreciate it, thanks a lot
da da da da da da da da da

Natasha!

[Natasha]
Natasha is young she loves Andrey with all her heart

[All]
She loves Andrey with all her heart
Natasha is young
and Andrey isn’t here

[Sonya]
Sonya is good Natasha’s cousin and closest friend

[All]
Natasha’s cousin and closest friend
Sonya is good
Natasha is young
and Andrey isn’t here

[Marya]
Marya is old-school, a grande dame of Moscow Natasha’s godmother, strict yet kind

[All]
Natasha’s godmother, strict yet kind
Marya is old-school
Sonya is good
Natasha is young
and Andrey isn’t here

And this is all in your program you are at the opera
Gonna have to study up a little bit if you wanna keep with the plot
Cuz it’s a complicated Russian novel everyone’s got nine different names
So look it up in your program
We’d appreciate it, thanks a lot
da da da da da da da da da

Anatole!

[Anatole]
Anatole is hot he spends his money on women and wine

[All]
He spends his money on women and wine
Anatole is hot
Marya is old-school
Sonya is good
Natasha is young
and Andrey isn’t here

[Hélène]
Hélène is a slut Anatole’s sister, married to Pierre

[All]
Anatole’s sister, married to Pierre
Hélène is a slut
Anatole is hot
Marya is old-school
Sonya is good
Natasha is young
and Andrey isn’t here

[Dolokhov]
Dolokhov is fierce, but not too important Anatole’s friend, a crazy good shot

[All]
Anatole’s friend, a crazy good shot
Dolokhov is fierce
Hélène is a slut
Anatole is hot
Marya is old-school
Sonya is good
Natasha is young
and Andrey isn’t here

Chandeliers and caviar, the war can’t touch us here
Minor Characters!

[Bolkonsky]
Old Prince Bolkonsky is crazy

[Mary]
And Mary is plain

[Mary & Bolkonsky]
Andrey’s family, totally messed up

[Balaga]
And Balaga’s just for fun!

[All]
Balaga’s just for fun!
Balaga is fun
Bolkonsky is crazy
Mary is plain
Dolokhov is fierce
Hélène is a slut
Anatole is hot
Marya is old-school
Sonya is good
Natasha is young
and Andrey isn’t here

And what about Pierre?
Dear, bewildered and awkward Pierre? What about Pierre?
Rich, unhappily married Pierre? What about Pierre?
What about Pierre? What about Pierre?